The Amazing iOS 6 Maps is Amazing ...ly bad

The most advanced iOS ever. Until the next one.

I know, I know... you're sick and tired of hearing about iPhones and iOSes and 5s and 6s and on and on. I'm sick of it, too. But because I'm a gadget freak and I heavily rely on my iPhone while on my various treks, I figured this was a relevant topic to take on.

I've been fooling around with iOS 6 for nearly 24 hours. For some reason, iTunes got fussy (what a surprise) and didn't want to download the update, so I updated the iPhone directly, "over the air."

Because I don't want the least most advanced iOS ever, I was standing on my head, having kittens while waiting for iOS 6 to go live. The install went perfectly, except that it was the slowest update in the history of ever. I figured, maybe it was slow because of the umpty million other Apple fanboys, all downloading the update at the same time. But then the installation process -- the bit that doesn't rely on an internet connection -- dragged out for a hundred years, hitting 99% and then just sitting there, like an expensive tub of glass and aluminuminumin (that's the UK spelling) lard.

Here's how I felt, watching my iPhone update itself:

After 15 minutes of shivering in anticipation, I actually buggered off and did something productive (shocking!) Another 45 minutes later, and we were rolling. Woo hoo!

Approximately 10 minutes after that, I was bored again. Also, not happy.

Google Maps on iPhone was a hot mess. Without turn-by-turn voice navigation, it was completely useless to me. Even trying to map out bike routes while out and about was a hit or miss proposition. The idea that Apple was making its own Maps app, and that it would have turn-by-turn voice navigation, was making me squee with joy. Unfortunately, I have an iPhone 4 -- minus the S.

iPhone 4 -- minus the S -- doesn't get turn-by-turn voice navigation because Apple arbitrarily decided that it shouldn't. Those bastards. The only feature I liked on my Droid X was Google Maps -- a pre-loaded app that came for free and worked astonishingly well. Google Maps may have been terrible on iPhone, but it was my favorite part of Android. Meanwhile, years and years later, Apple still can't get it right, even when they make their own amazing iOS 6 Maps.

iOS 6 Maps is amazing.

Oh, it really is just so amazing.

Amazingly, insanely great.

And there's your daily dose of schadenfreude, just in case you also have an iPhone 4 -- minus the S -- or older.

For those who often find themselves lost in the middle of nowhere, or those who are trying to get lost in the middle of nowhere, having a decent GPS can be a life saver. I'm sure Maps will only get better, as time goes on; you can't expect every new thing to be perfect. Until then, there are plenty of other, better options available on the app store. Just remember, in the words of Louis C.K., "The shittiest cell phone in the world is a miracle!"