In Memory of A Friend Who Lost Her Life to Breast Cancer

This morning, I was a little later than usual in getting started on my morning routine.

Going through personal issues, financial problems, car trouble, relationship issues... wondering what it's all about... It's just been a rough week. The most distressing thing, though, was learning of a friend's passing last night, after a long, painful battle with cancer.

What's the point of it all? Why do we even bother? We struggle so hard for so little, only to have it all taken away. Why? I don't know; I don't have the answers. So I just sat there. I've been knocked down before, but this time, I really didn't want to get back up.

And then I did.

I got up for all the reasons I've gotten up before. I got up because it's a new day, with new challenges, and another chance to continue the fight. And I guess I just enjoy the fight too much. Besides, I'm kind of a sore loser. But, really, I got up because I was inspired by another's strength to keep fighting against the odds. I was inspired by a very powerful figure in my life who's gone now.

Sherry Buller was a very good friend of my mother -- they grew up together in Swissvale, PA -- so she knew me before I was born, in a way. She was kind and sweet, and so strong. A true inspiration. The last time I saw her was in April, just about 4 weeks ago. We had a nice chat; we talked about my father's passing in March, we talked about my transition, and we talked about life. She never once judged me, and had nothing but positive things to say, but I knew she was in pain. I knew how tired she was. I'm thankful that I had one last moment to spend with her before saying goodbye and never seeing her again.

I cherish every moment that I had to spend with her and her loving husband, Paul, and their daughter, Jenny, who is a talented coder working on some amazing things in Arlington, Virginia. They are strong, independent people who never stopped loving each other. Inspiring to the end. And that's how I felt, this morning, when I picked myself up and decided to try again. I felt inspired to do something on her behalf.

Cycling has been a life-saver, for me. Sometimes, I'll be climbing a steep incline, shifted into the lowest gear and just slogging along at a grueling pace. For a moment, I entertain the idea of giving up and turning around, or getting off the bike and walking. But I don't. No matter how much my legs burn, no matter how much my body begs me to stop, I just keep going.

I know that even a snail's pace is faster than not moving at all. I know it's not about speed but about endurance. It's about knowing you can get to the top, if you just stick with it. Ease up, take your time. Have patience. But don't stop. Don't ever stop. You may feel like you'll never reach the top, but if you stop moving, you never will. Just keep pedaling; just keep pedaling.

Cycling has taught me some important lessons about life, and about how much strength I really have. That's why I'm riding the 2015 ACS Endure PA in her honor. I've chosen the 62 mile course -- a metric century, in the parlance of riders. It's a long, long distance, but I'm confident I can do it. I have plenty of inspiration to get me there, and I'll be training for it at every chance I get.

Now here's where you come in: I want to raise at least $250 in Sherry Buller's name and donate it in her place, but I need your help to get there. If you feel inspired to give, please do. Follow the link below -- any amount will help. I have just under 90 days to collect the amount I've pledged to raise. Help me keep fighting. Help me to help others keep fighting.

You may not have met Sherry, but I hope you understand how much she meant to me and my family. Cancer sucks. It kills and will likely continue to kill. It killed my grandmother 30 years ago and still ravages the lives of people around us. With the advances we've made in technology, procedures and vaccines to prevent cancer, maybe we'll actually manage to stop it... but only if we keep fighting. Advances are slow, but still so much faster than doing nothing at all. Just keep fighting; just keep fighting. We'll get to the top of this hill, yet.

Please donate by clicking the link below:
http://main.acsevents.org/goto/deeculp

In memory of Sherry Buller.

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Debunking the myth of the "perfect" day

Lousy weather, good times.

It starts by looking out the window to check for rain. Then I'll check a weather app on my phone to get the temperature and the day's forecast. From there, I check my schedule to see if I have time to take a long ride while looking for other potential obstacles. One by one, I check things off until the day seems "perfect."

Warm weather, clear skies, nothing to do but ride and ride -- these are my ideal conditions for a perfect day. But this is a trap. As Summer fades into the distance, the conditions of a perfect day are becoming extremely rare. At this rate, I won't ride again until next June. Therefore, I must adapt.

The weather on my 60k was lousy, but by wearing the right clothing, I actually found it warm and didn't mind the little bit of rain we had. The ride before that -- going through the gorge while the temperature lingered in the mid-50s/lower 60s -- was cold enough that I needed a pair of gloves, but I still had a great time. Meanwhile, by heading out earlier in the day, I can assure myself enough time to get a good ride in and still complete my daily tasks.

Over the last 2 weeks, I've become much more tolerant of weather conditions. Now, I don't mind a little rain, and I'm usually sweating more than shivering on days I used to think were too cold for a ride.  I've learned my lesson. Setting conditions for a perfect day will only lead to fewer rides and good days gone to waste. Every time I jump on my bike on a less-than-ideal day, I feel like I'm debunking the myth of a perfect day, because I'm discovering that even lousy days can be great.

Ultimately, whether a day is perfect or not depends on your attitude, and the more conditions you set to define what makes a perfect day, the more excuses you'll come up with for why today isn't one. So just ride. Make today the perfect day to have a perfect day.

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Quickie Update: Interval Training

Just a quick update, mostly for personal record-keeping.

Today I did intervals for a total of 52 minutes at an average speed of 12.4 mph, going a total distance of 10.9 miles.

I tried doing 5 sets the last time I did intervals, but couldn't finish the last set. I ended up doing 11.4 miles in 57 minutes at an average speed of 12.0 mph.

Blech... I can't get anything out of this. Next time I do intervals, I need to write down what my time is after each set and not count the warm-up and cool-down rides. Looking at what I have from these 2 sessions, it's hard to see if I'm improving.

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Scary New Pain

For the past few weeks, I've been pushing myself to become stronger and faster, but I admit that I've been neglecting my endurance. So, for today's ride, I decided to see if I could push myself to go a little farther than usual.

The Route:

Up and down Arthur Street 6 times to build a little more hill climbing endurance. On the 6th time, I rode to Diamond Avenue and followed it out to the Rails to Trails for distance endurance. I rode Rails to Trails out to Beryllium Road, turned around and headed back. I then followed the Rails to Trails all the way to Route 93 and turned around in the parking lot, heading back to Stockton Mountain Road. From there to Diamond Ave, up Arthur and back to home.

The Stats:

Total Distance: 20.8 miles

Time: 2 hrs 26 minutes -- non-stop

Average Speed: 8.5, Max Speed: 32.8

Elevation gain: 2007 ft, Max Elevation: 1860 ft

Also worth noting: I didn't go below the 3rd gear of my rear hub, even during the hill climbs. I wanted to add extra resistance and keep my speed up.

The Ride:

Uneventful. A few close calls with cars thanks to a lack of decent shoulder on some parts of the road. My hybrid bike definitely likes pavement more than the rough trail, but whatever. I still want a road bike more than a mountain bike.

I felt pretty good throughout the ride, until the turn for home, going up Arthur one last time. My legs were burning and giving me the, "Let's wrap this up, pronto," message. Despite the burn, I didn't feel fatigued or a lack of strength, but then the real fun began.

Post-ride:

As I parked my bike in the garage and headed upstairs, the situation got scary.

In the minute it took to cook some oatmeal, I guzzled 2 glasses of water and was adding protein powder to a 3rd. I just kept shaking my legs, trying to get the ants to stop marching, but it wasn't helping. I was in a lot of pain -- more than I had encountered from any previous ride. I was worried for a moment, but I knew what I had to do.

Finally, I grabbed everything and headed over to the dining room where I kicked my legs up onto the table to keep them elevated while I ate. Oatmeal with flax seed, potatoes and tuna. More water, and some rest. In about an hour, it was like nothing was ever wrong. As I write this, I'm feeling much better.

So, what now?

There are about 6 weeks left until the event. Just 6 weeks to see if I can manage to hit 31 miles (50km) without utterly destroying myself. I figure, I'll stick to my normal training regimen of intervals and hill climbs for the next few days. Next week, though, I'll see if I can't conquer those last 11 miles.

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Breakthrough!

One of my minor goals was to ride the Arthur Street route for an entire 12.4 miles, and I managed to do it sooner than I expected.

On my first attempt, I was only able to go 6.5 miles. On my second attempt, I was able to push that another 2. Today, on my third attempt, I had only intended to go 10 miles, but when I realized how close I was, I decided to dig a little deeper and go the last 2.4 miles to finish it off. I didn't even "cheat" by weaving back and forth, I just pushed straight up the hill.

The last 2 miles were brutal, but I feel great. After lingering in self-doubt about my training and nutritional regimen, I feel like everything I've been doing so far has been right.

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Interval Training

I decided to add a new method to my training regimen. Basically, you have 40 seconds of intense, passionate, unbridled... pedaling... followed by 20 seconds of rest. Then, repeat 9 more times. After the tenth time, rest for 5 minutes. Repeat this whole process about 4 or 5 times, and that's a good hour. Have a victory lap to cool down, and you're done.

The first session was absolutely killer -- I really thought this was the most brutal thing I could do to myself. But then, it wasn't so bad. And after each rest, I actually felt myself able to crank those pedals even harder. It felt good; I feel great.

After the fourth set, I debated going just one more time. What would one more time hurt? But then, I began to think about yoga planks. What is a yoga plank, really? It's a push-up that forgot to lie down. The thing is, they burn while you do them, and then they don't feel like anything... until the next day. So, I'm willing to bet tomorrow is going to suck.

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My 2 Best Friends

My dog Cinco is sitting on my lap, crushing my painful, sore legs, while Jonesy, my cat, is sitting on the arm of the chair, pawing at the can of tuna fish I'm trying to eat to replenish my protein.

Cinco and Jonesy

I'm covered in salty sweat, so the dog loves me because, as creepy as it sounds, I taste pretty good. The cat loves me because the can looks and smells suspiciously like his usual dinner. I'm sure, somewhere in that feline brain, Jonesy is thinking, "Why are you eating MY food? Why don't you give that tasty tuna to ME?" Because it's NOT for you. AWAY, BEAST!

It's almost as bad as when I'm trying to do yoga planks and Cinco comes over to lick my face, then crawls under me to lay down. I could collapse at any second, dog... That's really not the best place to lie down. Just FYI.

For today's ride, I stuck to the same route as Thursday. The first two laps up the hill felt pretty good. The rest of the laps were decidedly miserable, however. All in all, I managed 8 laps up the hill, which is 2 better than Thursday, so I'm feeling pretty good about that.

I finished off on the flats, taking 1 hour and 50 minutes to go a total of 11.1 miles. I'm not thrilled with that, but I'll give up some time if it means increasing my stamina for hill climbs. Eventually, I want to be able to get up that hill for an entire 12.2 miles. Confidence is high.

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Gut Check

My legs were on fire, but the rest of my body was drenched with sweat as I approached the top of Arthur Street. It was my second time climbing the hill when I had my first "gut check," and I asked myself, "Why am I really doing this?"

I didn't have an answer, but I pondered the question as I crested the summit and coasted back down.

Of course, there is an answer, but I don't have it yet. I don't have it because it involves the rest of my life, and I haven't lived it, yet -- I can only exist in the present. But someday, in the future, I'll be able to look back and say, 'This is the answer. This is why I did it."

I rode to the end of the block, turned around, and climbed up Arthur Street again.

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Challenging Myself

Well, if I was looking for a challenge, I certainly found one. Today's route took me up Diamond Avenue to the Stockton Mountain Road. I turned left off Stockton Mtn. Rd. and onto the Rails to Trails, following it as far as I could go.

From what I saw on Google Maps, Rails to Trails eventually becomes the Club 40 road (aka Co Rd 42, aka the infamous Beryllium Road), but I've never gone the whole way before, so I was eager to see what the trail is like past the gate.

Easily, the most fun I had was riding on the Rails to Trails -- no cars, no potholes, no problem. However, you ever get that feeling, when you're all alone, that you're not really alone? As I rode past the Dreck Creek Reservoir, I started to get that feeling. Instinctively, I started riding a little faster, just in case someone was coming up behind me. A little faster, and a little faster still. Before I got into a full panic, I turned my head a little, just to see if anyone was there. Of course, it was just my imagination... until I realized that SOMEONE WAS THERE! I almost lost it, but I got the bike under control. "Hey, how's it going?" he said as he passed by.

I'm pretty sure I've seen him out there before, but what blew me away was how fast he was going. He must have more gears on his bike because he was pedaling about half as much as I was and I could barely keep up with him in my highest gear. Then again, maybe my thinner tires were biting into the ground more, building up more resistance while his wider, mountain bike tires were allowing him to ride over the surface of the loose gravel.

Eventually, I got to the gate where Rails to Trails technically ends. This is Beryllium Road, a paved roadway that runs from Stockton Mtn. Rd. and leads to a fenced off area that used be the old Kawecki-BerylCo beryllium factory. If you make a right at this gate, it takes you to the factory site (which has long-since been bulldozed and capped as a Super Fund site. All that remains are acres of empty land with some trees and brush growing on it.) I made a left.

As I passed through the gate, I saw the other rider turning around to head back. I immediately got the sense that I should have followed him. Maybe he knew something I didn't? Like, maybe there's a reason he doesn't ride on the paved road. Well, after riding on this "paved" road, I can certainly see why I might want to avoid it.

The pavement is beat to hell, just completely torn up -- it's almost as bad as most Hazleton roads, to be honest, but I digress. My skinny, 700c wheels were taking a pounding, the bike's suspension was definitely getting a workout, and every bone in my body was being rattled loose. This road sucked. And then, at the end of a long, painful climb, I reached the summit. Smooth, clean roadway. For whatever reason, this section of the road looks almost well kept and maintained. I seriously doubt it's being taken care of, as there's little reason to go back here, but it's definitely in good shape.

As I rode on, I could hear heavy machinery and get a view of the large strip mine operation going on back there. Eventually, I came to a gate that I couldn't ride through. I had to get off, pick up my bike and carry it around the narrow gap at the edge of the road. Welcome to Stockton Village.

I was now on Club 40 Road, at the intersection of Club 40 and Stockton Mountain Road. According to Google Maps, if I just follow this road, I'll wind up at Route 93, but now it was time to test that theory.

The traffic is very light on this road -- even compared to Stockton Mtn. Rd. -- but there's almost no shoulder, so if you get traffic coming both ways, things get very tight. Thankfully, I didn't encounter too many trucks or cars. As I continued, I had hoped I was right about this road leading to 93, but soon the "aroma" of the Kentucky Fried Chicken told me what I needed to know. It was taking me exactly where I expected it to.

From 93 to Cedar, and up Cedar (which becomes Seybert), I was nearly home. Just a few more miles to go, and that's pretty much where the adventure ends.

As I rode up my driveway, the odometer clicked over 12.845 miles. I said to myself, "There's my 20k. No problem." 20.6, to be more precise. The funny thing is, the MyFitnessPal app only asks for the amount of time you've been riding and the average speed. My average was a meager 8 mph (and that's with going nearly 30 mph on some downhill sections) over 87 minutes. The app takes no regard of the monster hills I had to climb, so I don't know how much attention I should pay to the 600+ calories it says I burned. There's a BMX/Mountain bike setting that doesn't ask for average speed, but that claims over 800 calories for the amount of time I was out there. That seems like a little too much, but my aching muscles are telling me it may be on the money. Either way, if it was a challenge I wanted, it was a challenge I got.

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